By Denny McLain
In Play Magazine
Well here we go again, our Tigers are once again off to a race for the pennant, can you imagine?
But folks with all due respect, you can’t expect miracles out of this team. Because for them to win the division it would be just short of our Lord walking on water! Unless they find lightening in a bottle, I don’t think they’ll break .500!
After the first two guys in the Tigers pitching staff, what are we going to do, call “Ghost Busters?” If you’re forced to call on Willis and Bonderman, what the hell are you going to do? Even when Bonderman was healthy he was barely a .500 pitcher.
I am also told by senior people in the organization that Bondy suffers from fright when he has a lead in a game and is always looking to come out of a game after the 5th inning.
And Willis, well I feel so sorry for this guy! No one has been able to help this kid, all of that crazy talent and no one in the organization has been able to do anything with it.
I want to tell you something. Based on my history with the greatest pitching coach in the history of the game, Johnny Sain, I could help Willis get it somewhat together, I really mean that. If not, I won’t ever talk about pitching again.
The division we’re in allows anything to happen and it always has, but with only two pitchers in a suspect bullpen, don’t bet the farm on them winning the division.
God forbid Verlander or our other young right hander gets hurt! Because they ARE the staff!
Now let’s switch gears away from baseball.
Tiger Woods...what can be said at this point? He’s playing in the Masters with a tight security...what a joke!
Why can’t golf fans scream and holler at guys like other sports? Why the hell are they so special?
I’m not talking about during their back swings, but during the walk up the fairway or after a bad shot? Let’s hear those boos and the other incredible garbage that could come from of the crowds.
You know that the stripper is going to make an appearance in more ways than one right?
Now allow me to point out some things regarding Tiger.
One, he (allegedly) paid hookers and hookers and more hookers for their services, and they weren’t teeing up his balls on the practice tee box either! Isn’t that a criminal act?
Two, the cops in Orlando (allegedly) covered up what really happened at his home, Mrs. Tiger realized that she was about to expose him and all of a sudden no one knows anything…he hit a fire hydrant.
I think she realized that, “I can’t hurt myself” with this zillionaire!
During this Masters at the 14th hole he has already had a brain fart with an emotional outburst. You can’t change the spots on this leopard guys!
But the Tiger story will eventually be written, no one can play that well, hit the ball that hard, get around the course like he does or just plain punish the ball without some sort of assistance.
God forbid that we find out that all of these stories that we’ve heard about doctors who prescribed him Vicodin, Human Growth Hormone and various other products are true.
Three, rumor has it that he (allegedly) paid the first lover $10 million because she has the evidence to punish him with HGH and other possible substances acquisitions.
Stay tuned, because it is coming and I want to tell you one other thing.
If he wins the Masters, look out, the stories will start! Bigger and bigger with more possible information and facts, you can bet your butt that it is coming!
Folks when you’re surrounded in a hotel suite with several ladies of the night or whatever, don’t you think that somebody is playing around with some kind of chemicals? Come on, be honest?
At least on the first day of the Masters he looks like the old Tiger, but the broadcasters who are kissing his ass so much that we have to turn down the sound, no one wants to address the issues, I just don’t understand?
I will state the obvious; the crowds around the greens have been at best, luke warm. While the broadcasters are kissing his arse, the crowds are showing him somewhat a bit of disgust with their polite applause…not like the old days huh?
Ok, on to TV. Erin Andrews the ESPN commentator and Kate & the Eight.
I have found out why Erin is getting threats. Look at her dance! She is impersonating a dancer, isn’t that criminal fraud?
But she is not quite as reprehensible as Kate & the Eight.
Man has she changed huh? That can’t be the same gal can it? She too looks great in those skimpy clothes but man, she can’t dance one step of anything, she reminds me of a horse walking with a broken leg, measuring every step it takes!
I saved the best for last…the NCAA Woman’s Basketball Finals. Man! Was that exciting! But who watches it, or should I say why does anybody watch it?
No one loves women more than I do, God, I have two daughters and seven grand daughters, but even they don’t watch it, ugh!
Here’s my closing thought.
Thank God Buzz Aldrin, an American hero, doesn’t have to dance anymore! God that was more pain that I had to endure than my last root canal!
Have a great day folks!
